HABITS TO CULTIVATE
“If there is profit to be made, let others have it; if you have an argument, lose.”
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Posted on August 27, 2011, in Guff and tagged Good Advice, Non-attachment, Relationship, Self-management, Sharing. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.
Why?
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If you can train yourself to do this it is a very powerful and direct way to change your general state of mind. It is not easy, or quick. I learned of it years ago, and even now I can only see that I am beginning to make some progress. Every time I see myself remembering to repeat this to myself and put it into practice (it is by no means a habit!) I notice a shift in how I am feeling – light and opening, a little tickle of joy. I think to carry this through fully is a pretty advanced practice. I have a loooong way to go yet. 😦
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Well, I get this… But it just doesn’t seem fair… Ok, the first part, profit, I don’t really care about, but if you have an argument, what if you’re right? Should you still lose? Just give up? Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to give up:)
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I agree with you 100%. The trick is learning to hold your ground without getting into an argument. The weak point is always words (unless someone wants to resort to physical violence), so do not get caught into a verbal argument, especially if emotions get drawn in too. You stay calm and focussed, state your position and define your boundaries, clearly and politely, but do not argue or defend them. You can restate them if necessary, or if something they say, or something that occurs to you, changes your mind, you state your redefined position and/or boundaries. It is also an option to say nothing, and at times that is the best one. Sometimes a smile is good too, as long it’s not a passive aggressive tactic.
All of this stuff, I’m sure, can be found in books or on on-line sites about self assertion.
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